Funk my life up

You might have seen me mention a few months ago that I've been accepted onto a PGCE course for September. I'm hugely excited as I've wanted to teach (with the exception of a year or two at Uni when I was adamant that I wasn't going to follow the stereotypical view that all English students want to become English teachers...) since I was a small person and used to line up my teddies on the staircase at home and give them a damn fine education. Although, thinking about it, I also used to pretend to be a bus driver with my teddies in much the same formation so I suppose I was always open to other careers!

As excited as I am, I'm dreading the whole living off a student loan lifestyle as after three years of working full time I've become quite accustomed to being able to spend as much as I want on Topshop, burgers and cider (who says I don't lead a fulfilling life?!). To soften the blow slightly, I've been trying to prepare myself now by stocking up on bits and bobs I need for next year so that I'm not running around like a madwoman when I have my last payday trying to buy stationary and a wardrobe full of smart, teacher clothes.

Given that I really struggle with finding smart (but still fun) work clothes that I actually WANT to wear, I decided to do the sensible thing and started out with the far easier task of pimping out my stationary.

ideas notebook: Blott, exercise books: Paperchase, weekly desk pad: Paperchase

I feel like I'm 13 again, when all my pocket money used to go on stationary. Maybe I should buy some scented gel pens too. I'm guessing they still make them, right?! Don't tell me I'm that old...

Scream- Paolo Nutini

And I'll never look back, just hold your head up

When I tell people that I work with teenage cancer patients, I often find myself cringing as I wait for their reaction. All to often I get a pained expression of sympathy that I have to do such a 'sad' job, and others just look at me like I'm absolutely mad for wanting to work in such a 'depressing' job. Its a good measure of people though, if somebody reacts and says something like "that must be really rewarding" or even just a "ooh that sounds like an interesting job" I generally have far more respect for people with that sort of reaction rather than somebody who has an automatic assumption that my job is all doom and gloom. 

Ok, so there are times when inevitably working in the big bad world of cancer is pretty tough as sadly not everybody has a happy ending, but 99% of the time its actually a pretty brilliant place to work. Cancer patient or not, the kids are still just normal teenagers most of the time and some of them are bloody hilarious... I had one 16 year old yesterday who was telling me that she was planning a house party at the weekend because her Mum and Dad were going out all the while her non-English speaking Dad was sat right next to us thinking she was telling me about how college was going. 

One thing my job really has taught me is perspective. I know so many kids who've had to go through some truly horrible, life changing stuff. I know a fair few who've lost a limb to cancer but they somehow manage to get through that and still come out of it the other end with a smile and a crazy amount of determination to make their future everything they've ever wanted and more, seizing every opportunity because they're just so thrilled they've got their lives back. It really makes me think about things if I've had a bad day or if something is getting me down. Moping about things doesn't get you anywhere- having determination to pick yourself up and make things better is what life is all about. Cancer doesn't have to be the end of the world for the teenagers I work with, and our own problems don't have to be the end of our world either. Life is for living and enjoying, none of us know how long we've got on this planet but we really owe it to ourselves to make the most of it and do everything we can to enjoy it.

Image: Pinterest

Falling- Haim

But I fumbled and when I came down to the wire

Image: Pinterest

Earlier this week I spent half of my afternoon chatting to one of the kids at work. I know you're not meant to have favourites but its impossible not to sometimes when there are some brilliant characters amongst them. When this girl first came into the hospital I was told she was really quiet and sensible but the first time I met her I had more trouble getting her to stop talking! She comes out with some brilliant stories and comments, and this week's took the biscuit. Out of nowhere, she came out with the comment "When I'm an adult I want to be like you... I mean you're a grown up but you're not at all grown up". 

At first I wasn't quite sure how to take that one but actually I realised she'd summed me up in a nutshell and it definitely wasn't a bad thing. Yes, I can be an 'adult'... I can do my own washing, pay bills and have a job with a fair bit of responsibility, but on the other hand I love nothing more than having the sense of humour of a 10 year old boy, dancing like I'm at a school disco and pulling faces at my friend from work when we're in meetings. Growing up and being a grown up are two totally separate things. And actually, I think I'm pretty proud that this girl decided that I made a good role model- I think I've got the best of both worlds as far as adult life goes, being able to live independently but also knowing not to take life too seriously. I want to look back on my life and think about how much I enjoyed myself and all of the fun memories I had, not how great it was to be a full time grown up person who didn't take the time to enjoy herself or let her hair down every once in a while at every possible opportunity.

The Wire- Haim